Joy and sorrow


I was mowing the grass here at school yesterday and when I looked up for a moment I noticed that the window on the minivan in front of me had been shattered out. “Well, isn’t that strange” I thought, “hey wait a minute..did I do that?” Sure enough I had “done it” and of course I knew whose van it was, it belongs to one of the nicest ladies you could ever hope to meet who works here at the school.


I took care of things, and she was so nice about it, as I was cleaning the glass up I was acutely aware of my own deep feelings of sorrow. I heard a small voice in my head say,

“Why is it that you have such sorrow over this small matter, but you can sin over and over but never feel this level of true regret?”

I understood, and the conviction of it gave me an entirely new perspective. It’s brought some things into focus that I need to repent of. It really hurt me to think that I had even accidentally caused this lady any trouble. Somehow, it really didn’t seem to matter to me that I hadn’t done it on purpose (which is an excuse I like to use), in the end, I was responsible for it… then I thought of my relationship with Jesus and how much he loved me…how could I be so indifferent at times toward Him? Was it possible that I had a more “real” relationship with this woman whom I hardly know than I do with Jesus?

I understood, in a deep and sorrowful way, That I definitely am a man in need of a savior!


Last Sunday, a friend of mine in Sunday school said that we should confess our public sins in public, and our private one’s privately.

Just the other night I was walking down my driveway after dinner looking for something to take a picture of, the sunset was nice, it had been raining and the clouds were all nimbus-stratus and there were pinkish orange shafts of light coming through them…I did take a few pics of that but here’s the shot that has brought me the most joy!


Looking at this, I just keep thinking of that verse about the fool, who in his heart says…

“there is no God” Look! I can see Him there…In the beauty and perfection of His creation!



Looking at my daughters picture I can begin to understand how much He loves me…

And why He was willing to die for me so that I might be saved from myself.

I can also relate to the sadness He must feel, from the rejection by us of the attempt’s He’s made to reveal Himself to us and to empower us to defeat all of the things that we incessantly pray to Him to fix.

Jesus defeated death and sin on the cross, and by His stripes, we are healed! We have the power, we as Christians are “authorized” to drive out demons,and to heal the sick!

Imagine for a moment God listening to our prayers. And in His infinite wisdom, He knows that in order for each of us to find complete fulfillment and live in our purpose that we must first learn to walk in faith. I think He wants to see His children come before Him to receive all of the blessings gifts, healings and deliverance He has for us!


because only someone who really believes would do that…

Only someone who truly believes that He is Abba Father, would come to Him like a child…