Joy and sorrow


I was mowing the grass here at school yesterday and when I looked up for a moment I noticed that the window on the minivan in front of me had been shattered out. “Well, isn’t that strange” I thought, “hey wait a minute..did I do that?” Sure enough I had “done it” and of course I knew whose van it was, it belongs to one of the nicest ladies you could ever hope to meet who works here at the school.


I took care of things, and she was so nice about it, as I was cleaning the glass up I was acutely aware of my own deep feelings of sorrow. I heard a small voice in my head say,

“Why is it that you have such sorrow over this small matter, but you can sin over and over but never feel this level of true regret?”

I understood, and the conviction of it gave me an entirely new perspective. It’s brought some things into focus that I need to repent of. It really hurt me to think that I had even accidentally caused this lady any trouble. Somehow, it really didn’t seem to matter to me that I hadn’t done it on purpose (which is an excuse I like to use), in the end, I was responsible for it… then I thought of my relationship with Jesus and how much he loved me…how could I be so indifferent at times toward Him? Was it possible that I had a more “real” relationship with this woman whom I hardly know than I do with Jesus?

I understood, in a deep and sorrowful way, That I definitely am a man in need of a savior!


Last Sunday, a friend of mine in Sunday school said that we should confess our public sins in public, and our private one’s privately.

Just the other night I was walking down my driveway after dinner looking for something to take a picture of, the sunset was nice, it had been raining and the clouds were all nimbus-stratus and there were pinkish orange shafts of light coming through them…I did take a few pics of that but here’s the shot that has brought me the most joy!


Looking at this, I just keep thinking of that verse about the fool, who in his heart says…

“there is no God” Look! I can see Him there…In the beauty and perfection of His creation!



Looking at my daughters picture I can begin to understand how much He loves me…

And why He was willing to die for me so that I might be saved from myself.

I can also relate to the sadness He must feel, from the rejection by us of the attempt’s He’s made to reveal Himself to us and to empower us to defeat all of the things that we incessantly pray to Him to fix.

Jesus defeated death and sin on the cross, and by His stripes, we are healed! We have the power, we as Christians are “authorized” to drive out demons,and to heal the sick!

Imagine for a moment God listening to our prayers. And in His infinite wisdom, He knows that in order for each of us to find complete fulfillment and live in our purpose that we must first learn to walk in faith. I think He wants to see His children come before Him to receive all of the blessings gifts, healings and deliverance He has for us!


because only someone who really believes would do that…

Only someone who truly believes that He is Abba Father, would come to Him like a child…



Expression is a word used to describe the “means of conveyance” of an otherwise intangible or abstract concept,quantity,or feeling.

In mathematics, specifically algebra, it’s a symbol or a combination of symbols representing a value or relation to each other.There’s an order to it, and a beautiful symmetry that’s most appreciated by those who understand it’s language. It’s how we interface with the world,the study of which is called psychology.

Music and art of all kinds are also profound method’s of expression.Armies march to the syncopated rhythm of drums, people fall in love under music’s rapturous “influence.” Musical harmonies have a very real effect on the chemical and electrical functioning of our brains, who hasn’t been enchanted by it’s beauty, or it’s resonance within us?

In the field of quantum physics, they have whats called “The theory of Everything.” It has to do in part with whats called “String Theory” which says that at level’s way smaller than we can see with an electron microscope everything is small vibrating loops.These loops are thought to be the common denominator of all physical sciences and that by studying their “expressions” they could give science a whole new perspective on the physical laws which govern all aspects of life as we know it.

That’s why it’s called the theory of everything…

I believe that the consummate expression of anything (including science) is art…

In this instance,I prefer to think of it as a “He-art” (He, being God)

because I think that “He’s” in it, He created it, and His fingerprints are all over it.

Why not? a simple loop shaped like a heart is an expression of love.

(get over the corniness of this, lol it’s my theory and I’ll tell it like I need to)

Like some sort of microscopic signpost that announces to us that the next stop ahead on our cosmic journey will be “love-Town.” How funny would it be if some scientist was looking at these “loops” with a microscope and he turned up the power and saw an eye looking back at him? That kind of gives new meaning to the gospel hymn…

“Oh Let Us Magnify The Lord”

It makes sense to me that God would structure our world in such a way that we all have an equal opportunity to, through our own individual perceptions and aptitudes, come to know His “expression” of love towards us. It transcends our differences, it’s there in all things, it’s the ultimate explanation of “matter” at any level, even of what matters to us, whether it’s microscopic or as big as the universe! It’s a theory that doesn’t appear to rely on any deeper explanation.

Personally, I don’t need a microscope to see God or to witness His miracles…but then I’m not a physicist, I’m a philosopher (of sorts). We both know it’s an elephant we’re describing but we each have a different foundation on which to base our understanding, not of just the elephant but of our creator and the many ways that He expresses Himself, His relationship to us, and His great love for us.